How To Successfully Involve The Kids To Do The House Chores

hen I was a little girl, once my mom asked me to clean the kitchen vessels, I didn't want to do it. My mother gave a big lecture on why girls should help moms in the kitchen. She kept talking about it till I cried. Others sat there lecturing me about how I was not kind to help my mom, and when they were my age they used to do so much around the house.

At the same time, my brothers were not particularly lectured to do the chores but if they chose to do the chores they were showered with appreciation.

This made me hate doing chores around the house, I would never go help mom in the kitchen. It became a fight every single day.

The way we approach kids can definitely play a great role if kids would like to help or not around the house. If we constantly lecture them, they will definitely grow to resent it.

Actually, Research has shown that Children who help with chores at home grow up to become responsible and happy kids.

But I do not believe in forcing kids to do the chores around the house- that is not the way to get them to do it. The best way would be to involve them when you are doing it yourself. For example, if you are cooking- ask them to help you with the chopping or setting the table.

It can also start with cleaning their room, and then gradually involve them in other things.

Chores should become a family thing- something that everyone does together. This way the kids will not feel like it is a burden and they will be more likely to help out.

If kids do not listen to you it's time to fix your relationship with them- because if they don't feel connected to you they will not be motivated to help you with anything.

I don't believe in creating a chore list for kids- It takes the fun away from doing it and then kids start pushing the work or they would show aversion to the task. It also ends up in too much negotiation and back and forth about who is doing what.

Involve them from the time they are very young- so that it becomes a part of their routine and they learn to take responsibility for their actions. Adi was always playing around with kitchen tools and he would help me in whatever possible way he could.

Don't give an example of how you were able to do so much when you were young- Kids are different and have different capabilities. Focus on what they are able to do rather than what you were able to do. The time we grew up was different and we cannot expect the same from our kids.

Don't divide the task into the girl/boy category- There is no difference between a girl and a boy when it comes to doing chores and both should be given an equal opportunity to do the work.

Encourage them with appreciation- Whenever they help you out with something make sure you appreciate their efforts. This will definitely motivate them to help more often.

There is no need for special awards- House chores are everybody's responsibility, they should not feel like they are doing a favor, the idea behind doing the chores is lost if we start giving them awards.

But yes after doing a heavy cleaning or some big task you can definitely have a treat together.

Don't ask them to do your share of work - It is not their responsibility to make up for your laziness, Set a good example yourself- If you want your kids to help around the house then you need to set a good example yourself. Do your share of work and let them see you doing it. For example, it's not their duty to watch over the younger kids all the time.

Don't disturb them when they are playing or doing their work- There should be a time assigned for chores like before dinner setting up the table while cooking, or after eating to clean up.

Modeling the behaviour-If parents themselves outsource every house chores to maids and house helps, the children will definitely grow up with a sense of entitlement and they would not know the value of doing work.

My son sees me clean up, wash dishes, wash clothes, and cook and he is definitely more likely to help out around the house.

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Choose age-appropriate chores for kids- Don't give them tasks that are beyond their capability, it will only frustrate them. They definitely cannot carry heavy things when younger, so give them tasks like setting the table, dusting, putting away their toys, etc.

The best way to get kids to help is by making it a fun activity- Add some music, make it a game, or do it together as a family. The more fun they have doing it the more likely they will be to do it again.

Be patient while teaching them-It takes time for kids to learn something new, be patient and keep at it. They will definitely get the hang of it eventually. for example, if they might mess up or drop things while learning to cook or do the dishes, don't be harsh to them.

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Give the choice to the kids- Let them decide which task they want to do, so that they are more likely to cooperate. This way they will not feel like it is a burden and they will be more likely to help out.

Doing chores provides opportunities for children to take part in and contribute to the family in meaningful ways - It also develops important life skills such as time management, planning, organization, task prioritization, cooperation, and communication.  

Children who are involved in regular chores also develop a stronger sense of responsibility and are more likely to be independent and successful adults.

The idea is to help them understand that we do the chores to stay clean, healthy, and organized and not just because somebody has to do it. We are cooking because we eat, we are clean because we want to live in a clean house.

for example, if we have this routine of tidying up our workspace for the next day, and one day Adi came and told me how nice it was to wake up to a clean room to study. I was so happy that he had internalized this message.

Cleaning up together, cooking together, doing the laundry together- All these things help to instill a sense of responsibility in kids from a young age. And once they grow up they would definitely know how to take care of themselves and their homes

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The bottom line is that kids should not be made to feel like doing chores is a punishment. It should be something that the whole family does together and everyone enjoys doing it.