You Are The Average: Choosing Friends For Growth And Success

otivational speaker Jim Rohn once famously stated that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. 

This concept is related to the law of averages, which suggests that the result of any given situation is the average of all outcomes. This message is particularly relevant for younger individuals.

If young people consider this early in life, they can get influenced in the right ways and may get closer to their dreams. 

Your Network Is Your Net Worth

Connecting with like-minded people with more experience or expertise can be incredibly valuable for personal and professional growth. 'Your Network Is Your Net Worth' is not just a catchy phrase; it's a fundamental principle of success in all areas of life.

By tapping into the knowledge and supportive influence of others, you can accelerate your intellectual, professional, and personal development.

The Mirror of Friendship

Think of your friends as the mirrors of your personality. They reflect who you are, who you were, and sometimes, who you aspire to be. Seeing the traits or behaviours of our friends that we admire or dislike can catalyze self-reflection and the desire for change. 

This mirroring effect is why spending time with people who uplift your mood, spirit, and personal goals is crucial.

Building a Power Circle

Cultivating a power circle starts with a vision of your best possible self. Then, it's about seeking out individuals who already embody the characteristics, skills, or achievements you aspire to.

Once these connections are made, it's not just about what you can gain but what you can offer in return.

This creates a web of reciprocity far more valuable and long-lasting than mere friendships of convenience.

Creating a list of mentors that you admire or whose work matters to you is also a great way to start learning from them.

The Power of Influence

Humans are inherently social creatures. We thrive in communities, seek belonging, and are influenced by those we interact with. This isn't just a philosophical perspective; it's a psychological and sociological truth that numerous studies have reinforced.

Social Contagion Theory

At the heart of this concept is the Social Contagion Theory, which posits that behaviours can spread within a social network as if somehow contagious.

This phenomenon has been observed in a variety of contexts, from health habits like obesity and smoking to emotional states like happiness or depression.

The Science of Networks

Similarly, research in network science underscores the idea that our relationships form complex systems that can significantly influence everything from our information flow to our success and well-being.

The people we are connected to shape the network's topology, affording power dynamics that can be advantageous or detrimental to us.

The Inner Circle Effect

Our personal "inner circle" has an outsized impact on our development. These individuals are more than mere acquaintances; they are the friends, family, and colleagues with whom we share significant parts of our lives.

Shared Choices and Values

Close ties often mean shared choices influenced by the values and norms within the group. These choices can range from lifestyle to ethical considerations, and the influence can be subtle or profound.

Support Systems and Mental Health

The individuals closest to us define our support system. They shape our emotional well-being, and their support (or lack thereof) can significantly impact our mental health and resilience in facing challenges.

Growing Through Relationships

Understanding the potency of relationship dynamics can be a potent tool for personal growth. With cognizance of the "fives" around us, we can intentionally craft a network that nurtures and challenges us to be better versions of ourselves.

Cultivating Mentors

Mentorship is a vital factor in personal and professional advancement. By surrounding ourselves with wise and experienced individuals, we can tap into their knowledge, guidance, and networks, accelerating our growth.

Peer Groups and Accountability

Likewise, peer groups can provide a robust support system while holding us accountable to our goals and standards. Whether in fitness, business, or any other domain, a group of peers can push us to achieve, striving to keep pace with their progress.

The Right Kind of Influence

Positive influence is not just about being around "successful" people. It's also about being around those who are grounded, empathetic, and intelligently critical about how they lead their lives. The right influence inspires growth and self-discovery.

What If Your Current Circle Is Not Ideal?

Perhaps you've realized that your current circle, while comfortable, does little to foster your personal growth. This is a crucial moment for transformation.

It means seeking out mentors, joining communities of like-minded individuals, and having the courage to distance yourself from relationships that are holding you back gradually.

One way to begin learning from mentors you admire or whose work matters to you is by creating a list of them. 

A Caution About Extremes

This principle can sometimes be misconstrued to support a type of isolationist thinking. However, having a diverse network that challenges your preconceptions and provides you with a wide range of perspectives is essential. 

It's not about cutting out anyone not on a direct path to success; instead, it's about ensuring you have enough positive, constructive influences to keep you on the right track.

When the Principle Comes Full Circle

The real magic occurs when you become one of the five significant presences in someone else's life. You can inspire, guide, and support others as they walk toward self-improvement.

This is where the importance of your growth comes full circle. By improving yourself, you become a better source of inspiration and support to others, who, in turn, influence others, creating a ripple of positive development.

Consciously curating the company you keep is not just another self-help platitude; it's a powerful strategy for achieving success and happiness. By recognizing the profound impact of our social circles, we can make more informed decisions about who we spend our time with. 

Strategic relationships can be life-changing, propelling you into realms of possibility you might never have considered. Remember, the quality of your life is directly proportional to the quality of your relationships. 

Although this principle may seem stark in simplicity, it cannot be underestimated. It's a rallying cry to take the reins of who we are becoming, to surround ourselves with the kind of individuals whose stories we want as our own. 

Take the time to evaluate your associations and thank them for their positive influences on your life. And if changes are in order, dare to build a power circle that can transform your circumstances and essence. 

Engage with the influencers of your spirit, for it is with their collective wisdom and spirit that you craft the detailed, intricate portrait of the person you are destined to become.