Are parents transferring mindless phone scrolling habit to their kids?

iya is tired after her long day in school. After she comes home, her mom serves her lunch and she is back to watching videos on her phone. Siya eats her food with little interest and goes to her dad. Her dad is chatting on the phone, so she is not sure how to spend her time. She doesn’t want to read or play outside. So Siya picks her tablet and starts watching some random videos.

It has become a habit for Siya to spend most of her free time on her phone. It's evening and Siya's mom reminds Siya to finish her homework, Siya finds it very difficult and asks for help from her mother. Siya's mother explains the problem and goes back to scrolling on the phone because while Siya is doing the work she wants to keep herself busy.

Some parents argue that they cannot put their phones down because they need to be available for work while others cannot stay away because they have the fear of missing out. They don’t want to be the last ones to know what is happening in the world. But what these parents are missing out on is that by being too engaged with their phones, they are not giving their children the attention they need.

What is Mindless Phone Scrolling

We have all been there. You pick up your phone intending to check a few things and the next thing you know, you have been scrolling for hours. This mindless scrolling can become a habit that is hard to break. Once you get into the habit of constantly checking your phone, it can be difficult to stop.

If you are constantly on your phone, your kids will think it's okay for them to do the same. You are a role model for your kids and they will follow in your footsteps. So it's very important to limit your screen time in front of your kids.

Earlier more family members in the house meant having a chance to play and talk to different people now it means watching and hearing the same reels again and again on different devices.

What can parents do to be more responsible with their gadget time?

Keep your phone away during family time- One of the best ways to limit your screen time is to keep your phone away during family time. This includes meal times, when you are talking with your kids and when you are spending time together as a family. When kids are studying, help them focus by putting their phones away. Sleep time should not be phone scrolling time.

Be a role model- One of the best ways to teach your kids about responsible gadget use is to be a role model yourself. If you are constantly on your phone, they will think it's okay for them to do the same.

Be more deliberate while using gadgets- Another way to be more responsible with your gadget time is to be more deliberate about when and how you use them. For instance, if you want to use your phone to check the news, do so for a specific amount of time and then put it away.

Monitor your presence on social media- If you are spending a lot of time on social media, try to monitor your usage. This can be done by setting limits on the amount of time you spend on each site or by checking in only a few times per day. Now there are options in apps to check how many times you have logged in to your device.

Use your phone for productive purposes only- One way to cut down on your screen time is to use your phone only for productive purposes. This means using it for things like making calls, sending texts, checking email, and doing research. If you can, avoid using your phone for entertainment purposes such as playing games or watching videos.

If you have the habit of mindlessly scrolling through videos and social media, try to be more mindful about it.

Don't give in to the dopamine kick- 

It is important to understand that your phone is designed to keep you engaged. The developers of these apps and websites use different techniques to ensure that users keep coming back for more. Every time you check your phone you get a dopamine kick- This is when you get a small burst of pleasure or satisfaction from using a particular app or website.

One way to get your kids to be more responsible with their screen time is to explain to them how tech companies ensure that users spend a lot of time on their apps. For instance, you can tell them about things like infinite scroll, auto-play, and notifications.

According to the psychologist, Joshua Ehrlich, excessive scrolling stimulates the same pathways of the brain as those stimulated in people with chemical addictions.

Keep your phone out of reach: Another way to limit your screen time is to keep your phone out of reach when you are not using it. This can be done by putting it in another room or keeping it in your purse or bag. Set a time to log off from your phone at night so you can avoid using it before bed. Make a rule - 9 pm, turn off your phone, That's it!

Use technology intentionally - 

The key to using technology intentionally is to be aware of how it affects you and your family. This means being aware of the time you spend on your devices, the way it makes you feel, and the impact it has on your relationships. Make a confession when you have crossed your usage limits, and acknowledge that you are falling prey to these scrolling habits.

If you’re on the phone for three hours daily, that’s time you’re not spending on face-to-face interactions with people. Smartphones give everything you need to enjoy the moment you’re in, but they don’t require much initiative.- ― Adam Alter, Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked

Put it in the calendar- 

I like Nir Eyal's, (author of Indistractible) method of not giving in to distraction - He says that if you plan to waste time put it in your schedule." Plan time for things you enjoy. This includes productive things and “unproductive” things. By planning this time, we don’t have to worry about a constant urge to do something else"

Be answerable to yourself - 

When we are more aware of how much time we spend on our devices, we can start to be more intentional about it. One way to do this is to keep track of your usage. My son and I have the practice of reflecting at the end of our day and we mention how much time we spent on our gadgets and what was our purpose.

Be a guide to family members and save them from mindless scrolling -

Sometimes it's difficult to control what habits other family members in the house are giving to kids. While it's difficult to explain to them the harmful effects of phone scrolling and watching mindless reels and videos, we can guide them. Help them follow some useful stuff like my mother is fond of spiritual talks so I helped her follow some accounts that can be useful for her. This way we can help our elders and also set an example in front of our kids.

How I keep checking on my mindless scrolling behavior-

I am trying to be more mindful of my phone usage and I have set some rules for myself. For instance, I only use my phone for work-related purposes during working hours.

I have scheduled time for mindless scrolling but mostly I am checking my posts

I don't touch my phone first thing in the morning anymore

When I do overindulge on the phone, I confess it by talking about it or mentioning it in my journal

I am consciously fighting my urge to post too much of my day on social media

I know I am not perfect but these small changes have helped me become more aware of my phone usage and have helped me curb my mindless scrolling habits.

Kids learn to to watch video from parents and the kind of content parents consume has direct influence on their kids. So we need to be more vigilant and should try to break our mindless scrolling habits.