How Social Changes Have Influenced Parenting :Erica Komisar

his is a conversation between Erica Komisar, a clinical social worker, psychoanalyst, and parent guidance expert with over 30 years of private practice experience.

She is the author of books such as, ‘Chicken Little the Sky Isn't Falling: Raising Resilient Adolescents in the New Age of Anxiety’. and Steven Bartlett of The Diary of a CEO.

Parenting has evolved significantly over time, shaped by major social changes, historical events, and cultural movements.

From the Industrial Revolution to the rise of individualism, these shifts have redefined parental roles, impacting children's emotional and psychological development in profound ways.

The Impact of the Industrial Revolution

One of the earliest turning points in parenting was the Industrial Revolution, which saw parents—particularly mothers—being drawn into the workforce. For the first time in history, families were separated for extended periods, disrupting traditional child-rearing practices.

The close physical and emotional bond between mothers and their children, once a staple of daily life, was challenged as economic demands took priority.

The Feminist Movement and Changing Family Dynamics

The feminist movement of the 1960s played a crucial role in advocating for women's rights, equality, and workplace inclusion. While these advancements were pivotal for gender equity, they also led to significant shifts in parenting structures.

With more mothers working full-time, children were often placed in daycare or under the supervision of other caregivers.

While this change promoted financial independence and career opportunities for women, it also introduced new challenges in child development. Many experts argue that early childhood attachment, which is essential for emotional security, was affected by reduced parental presence during a child's formative years.

The Rise of Individualism and Its Effects on Parenting

Modern society has increasingly embraced individualism, emphasizing personal success, self-fulfillment, and independence. This cultural shift has influenced parenting in several ways:

• Greater focus on career and self-development, sometimes at the cost of family time.
• An increased reliance on external caregivers, such as nannies and daycare centers.
• A shift towards digital distractions, where screens often replace direct parental engagement.

This transformation has sparked concerns over children's emotional well-being, with studies indicating a rise in childhood anxiety, stress, and behavioral issues. The mental health crisis among children, which some believe started long before the social media era, can be linked to these societal shifts in parenting priorities.

The Essential Role of Mothers in Early Development

Scientific and evolutionary research highlights the critical role of mothers in a child's first three years. Mothers are biologically wired to provide sensitive, empathic nurturing, which plays a key role in emotional regulation. Key benefits of maternal presence include:

• Emotional soothing and attachment security: Mothers help regulate a baby's emotions through skin-to-skin contact, eye contact, and a soothing tone.
• Protection against stress hormones: Frequent nurturing increases oxytocin (the love hormone), which counteracts cortisol (the stress hormone), reducing anxiety and promoting emotional stability.
• Developing self-regulation skills: By age three, a child who has received consistent maternal care is more capable of managing emotions and stress.

The Role of Fathers in Child Development

Fathers also play an essential but different role in parenting. While mothers focus on emotional security and soothing, fathers contribute by:

• Encouraging exploration, risk-taking, and independence.
• Engaging in playful interactions and physical activities, which help children regulate excitement and aggression.
• Providing a different kind of emotional support, which complements the nurturing style of mothers.

Are Traditional Parenting Roles Still Relevant?

In modern parenting, gender roles have become more fluid, with many fathers taking on caregiving responsibilities traditionally associated with mothers. While biology influences caregiving behaviors, many believe that parenting should be adaptable, allowing both parents and even extended caregivers to provide a balanced nurturing environment.

Finding a Balance in Modern Parenting

The evolution of parenting reflects broader societal changes, and while shifts like workforce participation and individualism have brought advantages, they also present new challenges. The key to raising emotionally secure and resilient children lies in understanding the significance of parental presence—regardless of gender—and fostering strong early attachments.

As parenting continues to evolve, the question remains: Should modern families adhere to traditional caregiving roles, or should they embrace a more flexible, shared approach to raising children?