Conscious Parents Are Seeing Value In Teaching Empathy To Kids

Empathy is one of the most important skills that we can learn in life, yet it is something that is not taught in school. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. It is a vital skill for relationships, work, and life in general. Without empathy, we would be unable to understand or care about the experiences of others.

Recently I injured my legs and it was heart warming to see y son helping me in my day to day activities. He took care of me really well and that led me to understand how children develop empathy and how this skill can be useful to them.

Can Empathy be taught to kids?

Schools don't teach empathy to kids. One reason may be that empathy is difficult to define and measure. It's not like maths or reading, where there are clear goals and objectives. Empathy is more of a state of mind or a way of being, that can be hard to teach in a traditional classroom setting.

Another reason may be that empathy is seen as a soft skill or something that's not as important as other academic skills. But research shows that empathy is actually a critical life skill that predicts success in many different areas.

Not all of us are born with skills to understand others and be empathetic. Most of us learn empathy while growing up through observing the interactions of those around them.

Importance of Teaching Empathy to Kids

Experts say that focusing on emotional skills can reduce school violence and equip students for greater success in life.

Research has shown that being emotionally intelligent can lead to long-term happiness and economic security through skills such as reading and maths.

While some people may be naturally empathetic, for most of us, it is something that must be learned. So how can we learn empathy if it is not taught in school?

 Dr. Michele Borba has written a book - UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World. She believes teaching children character has value for the future of the society, “We are such a trophy-, SAT-obsessed society, but if parents would recognize the value [for success] beyond the humanness, civility and ethics, they might get it.” She adds, “It needs to be woven into the curriculum, not tacked on.”

Future workspaces like business, politics, art, and beyond will need people to have emotional intelligence for meaningful participation and relate to others in an increasingly complex world.

The good news is that there are many ways to develop this skill. Here are a few ideas:

1. Talk to people outside of your social circle: It can be easy to only empathize with people who are like us, but it is important to try to understand the experiences of those who are different from us as well. Talk to people from different backgrounds and walks of life to get a better understanding of their perspectives.

2. Read books and watch movies from different points of view: Another way to learn empathy is to consume media that presents different points of view. This can help to open your mind and give you a better understanding of the experiences of others.

We saw the movie Wonder and learned to understand Auggie's perspective. This movie is based on the book "Wonder", it tells the story of 10-year-old Auggie a boy who has facial deformities. 

Auggie was homeschooled until the fourth grade, Auggie is well aware of the challenges that await him when he enrolls in middle school. 

The story is told from multiple perspectives and emphasizes kindness, acceptance of differences, and the common anxieties associated with fitting into a social group.

What Filmmaker Stephen Chbosky had to say about the book is, "Every voice is authentic. It shows the benefit of regarding each other with respect and listening to each other's stories. That is the nature of empathy, and that is the gift of this book"

3.Active listening is a skill that requires you to focus on what the other person is saying and to try to understand their feelings. This can be difficult, but it is a great way to practice empathy.

But before you expect kids to listen to you, you should practice listening to your kids.

When you make an effort to really understand how someone feels, it’s easier to show empathy. The same goes for kids—if you want them to be empathetic, you have to model that behavior yourself.

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4. Be mindful of your own reactions: Pay attention to your own reactions to the experiences of others. If you find yourself getting defensive or judgmental, take a step back and try to understand where the other person is coming from.

In case you realize later that you have behaved in a certain way that included judging someone, explain to your kids the reason behind that and tell them it was not the right way to behave.

5. Talk about your emotions: Discussing your own emotions can be a great way to teach kids about empathy. When you share how you feel, it can help them to understand and relate to the experiences of others.

There are times I am irritated and I tell my son about it.

I tell him that I am not in the mood to talk and listen, I need some time.

He should understand that I need space.

6. Focusing on the child's emotional world

When we see a child going through an emotional outburst, our first reaction is to tell them to "calm down" or "use their words". But if we take a step back and understand what they are feeling, it can help us to respond in a way that is more helpful.

For example, if a child is having a tantrum, they might be feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, or angry. If we can understand and validate those feelings, it can help the child to feel heard and understood. In turn, this can help to de-escalate the situation.

For children, little things matter like maybe meeting their friends wanting to eat something. we should pay attention to their feelings.

7. Find opportunities to volunteer: One of the best ways to develop empathy is to volunteer for a cause that your child cares about. When they see the direct impact of their efforts, it can be easier to understand and relate to the experiences of those they are helping

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Volunteering can start from home like putting out water for birds, I speak about these in my newsletter. Do subscribe to receive your weekly copy.

“Part of our formal education should be training in empathy. Imagine how different the world would be if, in fact, it were 'reading, writing, arithmetic, empathy.'”

- Neil deGrasse Tyson

It is essential that we start teaching empathy in schools, but there are also many things that parents can do to foster this important skill in their children.

By taking the time to talk to our kids about empathy and modeling compassionate behavior, we can help them to develop into caring and empathetic adults.

Empathy is a skill that can be developed through practice. By making an effort to understand the experiences of others, we can create a more compassionate and inclusive world.

Practising empathy consciously with an intention to develop this trait can help not just kids but even adults in our lives.

If your kids are finding it difficult to practice empathy, you should know that it can be developed over time. 

Here are some affirmations to practice with your kid related to empathy. Repeating these affirmations each morning will help your feel empathetic.

• I can always see things from other people's perspectives.
• I like to help others
• I care about the way other people think.
• I am a good friend.
• When I see someone struggling, I want to help.
• I am grateful for the people in my life.
• I know that everyone has different experiences and perspectives.
• I am a caring person and it shows
• I have empathy for others even those I disagree with.
• I put myself in other people's shoes
• I understand how other people feel.

Empathy is something we can all learn to practice. By making an effort to see things from the perspective of others, we can create a more compassionate world.

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