How Arguing With Kids Can Be Made Positive

y son and I are often in arguments but we are conscious that we are both trying to be reasonable and understand each other's point of view. We'll never see completely eye to eye on everything, but at least we can communicate and respect each other's perspectives.

One of the hardest things to do as a parent is to deal with arguments with your kids. It can be difficult to know how to handle the situation when you're feeling frustrated and they're feeling just as strongly about their position.

You'll inevitably argue with your kids from time to time. After all, you're two different people with two different sets of opinions, values, and beliefs. But it's important to remember that just because you disagree with your child doesn't mean you have to be at odds with them. Arguing can be a healthy part of your relationship if you do it constructively.

Here are some tips for arguing constructively with your kids:

-Try to see things from their perspective. It can be easy to get so wrapped up in your point of view that you forget to consider how things look from your child's perspective. But it's important to try to see things from their standpoint if you want to truly understand their side of the argument.

Parents have a fixed mindset over certain things, like homework or bedtime, because they believe that it's non-negotiable. However, try to be flexible and open-minded about things that you can budge on. This will show your child that you're willing to see things from their perspective and that you're open to compromise.

-Listen more than you talk. It can be tempting to do all the talking when you're in the middle of an argument, but it's important to give your child a chance to speak their piece as well. Listening carefully to what they have to say will not only help you understand their position better, but it will also show them that you respect their opinion.

When we are very angry we have the habit of shutting down and not listening to the younger person. This is not helpful because the other person will feel unheard and unsupported.

-Avoid name-calling and personal attacks. It's natural to want to put your child in their place when you're arguing with them, but resorting to name-calling and personal attacks will only make the situation worse. Not only will it make your child feel disrespected, but it will also make them less likely to listen to what you have to say.

Calling them liars, dishonest, or any other derogatory name is not going to help the situation, it will only make them defensive and unwilling to listen to you.

-Try to stay calm. It can be difficult to keep your cool when you're arguing with your child, but it's important to try. Getting angry will only escalate the situation and make it harder to resolve the disagreement.

I have been in a situation where my son has done something and I have gotten so upset that I've lost my temper. This only makes the situation worse because then we're both yelling and not listening to each other. It's important to try to stay calm so you can both think more clearly and resolve the issue.

-Focus on the issue at hand. When you're in the middle of an argument, it can be easy to bring up old grievances or to start tangent off into unrelated topics. But if you want to resolve the disagreement, it's important to stay focused on the issue at hand.

Sometimes we blame the kids for doing the same thing over and over again, but it's important to just focus on the current issue so you can resolve it and move on.

-Make sure you're both heard. In any argument, it's important to feel like your opinion is being valued and respected. Make sure you take the time to listen to what your child has to say and let them know that you understand their point of view.

We can take turns when we talk, paraphrase what the other person said, and ask questions to make sure we understand. This will help ensure that both sides feel heard and that the argument is resolved constructively.

-Take a break if things get too heated. If the argument is starting to get out of control, it's sometimes best to take a break and come back to it later. This will give both you and your child time to calm down and collect your thoughts.

Sometimes walking out of the room for a few minutes can help, especially if we feel like we're about to say something we'll regret. It's important to take a break so you can both calm down and approach the situation with a clear head.

-Pick your battles. Not every disagreement is worth getting into an argument over. Sometimes it's best to let small things go and save your energy for more important issues.

Too many instructions and rules can make our kids rebel, so sometimes it's best to just pick your battles and let the small things go. This will help keep the peace in your home and prevent arguments from getting out of hand.

-Apologize if you've made a mistake. If you find that you're in the wrong, don't be afraid to apologize to your child. This will show them that you're willing to admit when you're wrong and that you value their opinion.

A couple of days before I was very embarrassed with the way I behaved with my son, and I had to apologize for it. I wrote to him about what triggered me to apologise and he wrote back apologizing too. We both felt better after that.

-Talk about problems before they happen. If you know there's an issue that is likely to cause an argument, talk about it with your child beforehand. This will help prevent misunderstandings and allow you to resolve the issue before it becomes a problem.

Sometimes we can sense that something is going to happen, so it's best to talk about it before it does like if children are overshooting their gadget time tell them before that this may cause an argument. This way they know what to expect and can avoid the situation altogether.

-Set some ground rules for arguing. If arguments are a regular occurrence in your home, it may be helpful to set some ground rules for how to argue constructively. For example, you could agree to never raise your voice or to take turns speaking.

We can agree to never raise our voices, take turns speaking, or use "I" statements instead of blame. By setting these ground rules, we can help ensure that the argument is resolved constructively.

-Encourage them to express their feelings calmly and respectfully. This will help them learn how to handle disagreements constructively.

When parents shout during arguments, our kids will think it's okay to shout too. We need to model the kind of communication we want to see from our children, which is calm and respectful.

-Avoid making assumptions. It's easy to jump to conclusions when you're in the middle of an argument, but this will only make the situation worse. Try to avoid making assumptions about what your child is thinking or feeling, and instead just listen to what they have to say.

There are times we assume their feelings and thoughts, and we might be wrong. It's important to listen to what they have to say so we can avoid misunderstandings.

-Keep the lines of communication open. Arguing is a normal part of any relationship, but it's important to make sure that you're still able to communicate with your child even when you're not getting along. Take the time to talk to them about their day, their thoughts, and their feelings, and let them know that you're always there for them. Even discussing regular things can help keep arguments at bay.

It can be hurt if we refuse to talk to our kids because we are angry with them.

-Try to be logical when solving a conflict

This will help your child see that there is a resolution to every problem and that arguments don't have to end in a stalemate.

When we are arguing with our kids, sometimes we can get too emotional and forget to be logical.

-Be consistent with your actions- 

This will help your child trust you and feel confident in your decisions.

If we are not consistent with our actions, our kids will get confused and frustrated. It's important to be consistent so they know what to expect from us.

If you react differently to the same situation each time it occurs, your child will become confused about what is acceptable and what isn’t. They’ll also start to doubt your decisions and whether or not they can trust you.

Arguing with your kids can be challenging, but it's important to remember that it's a healthy part of the relationship if done constructively. By listening to your child, staying calm, and focusing on the issue at hand, you can resolve disagreements in a way that is fair for both of you.