Secrets To Earn The Respect You Desire From Kids

ack when I worked in a school, I used to observe why certain teachers were not respected by kids. Mostly these were teachers who were very mean when talking to kids. I once saw a kindergarten teacher pull the child by his shirt when he was not walking in the line, which made me very uncomfortable. Would she do the same with an elder kid?

On the other hand, teachers teaching high school students were very careful of how they talked to kids, they would maintain a distance when talking to older kids. They wouldn't tap on their shoulders while talking or wouldn't use a high-pitched voice which is meant for younger children.

We tend to behave differently with older and younger students, is it because the younger kids are shorter than us so we take it for granted to scold them, and pull them. But if we see someone our own age or taller than us doing the same thing, we wouldn't like it.

But as an adult we are particular that kids should respect us, we feel offended when a kid doesn't greet us well. We get angry when they don't listen to us. But are we respecting them?

If we want our kids to respect us when they grow up, we should start by respecting them. And that doesn't mean we shouldn't correct them when they do something wrong. But while doing so we should maintain our cool and speak to them calmly and not in a high-pitched voice or anger.

-Don't belittle them: When you make fun of a kid or talk to them in a condescending manner, you are belittling them. You might not mean it but that's how the kid would feel. For example, if a five-year-old comes to you and says she wants to be an astronaut when she grows up, don't laugh at her and say it's impossible. Instead, encourage her dreams.

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-Listen to them: We think that because we are adults and we have more experience, our opinions matter more. But that's not true, every person has a different opinion and it's okay to listen to what they have to say. It shows that you respect their views even if you don't agree with them.

The things that do not excite us anymore might mean a lot to them. So the next time your kid comes to you and shows you what they made in school or some art project, give them your undivided attention, look at it with interest and let them know that you are proud of them.

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-Encourage their individuality: We all have different likes and dislikes, we dress differently, and our hair color is different. It's okay for kids to be different, in fact, it should be encouraged. When you allow your kid to express their individuality, you are respecting them as a person.

Don't trust your choices on them, let them choose what they want to wear or what color they want their hair. It might be a small thing for you but it would mean a lot to them.

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-Don't hit/push them: This is something most of us would have experienced as kids. When we did something wrong, our parents or elders would hit us. But that's not the right way to discipline a child. When you hit a child, they would be scared of you and wouldn't want to come to you with their problems. Instead, sit down with them and talk to them about what they did wrong and why it was wrong.

-Don't scream while talking- When we get angry, we tend to scream. But that's not going to help the situation, it would only make the child more scared and upset. Instead, try to talk in a calm voice and explain to them what they did wrong and why you are upset. You would have noticed that kids do the same thing when they are angry, they would start screaming.

-Avoid using hurtful words- When we are angry, we might say things that we don't actually mean. But those words would hurt the child and they would start doubting themselves. So instead of saying, "you are so lazy," say something like, "I know you can do better than this."Some adults have the habit of talking about their kids like they don't exist in the room. But that's not respectful. If you wouldn't talk about someone in their presence, don't do it with kids either.

When you ask for help don't order them -  You wouldn't dare boss around an adult, so don't do it with kids either. Instead of saying, "bring me my phone," say, "would you please bring me my phone."

Don't say "Go get me a glass of water," say, "Can you please bring me a glass of water?"

-Don't interrupt them when they are talking- Why do we think that conversations led by adults are important and the ones led by kids are not? Just because they are kids, it doesn't mean that what they have to say is not important. So the next time a kid is talking to you, listen to them patiently and don't interrupt them. So instead of interrupting a child when they are talking, wait for them to finish and then talk.

-Introduce them when you meet someone new When we meet someone new, we introduce them to our friends and family. But when we are with kids, we tend to forget about them. We start talking to the other person as if they are not there. But that's not polite. The next time you are meeting someone new, don't forget to introduce them to the kids too.

Don't call them names- Some parents may call kids by names like calling kids 'dumbo', 'duffer' etc. This is very hurtful for the child and can damage their self-esteem. So instead of doing that, avoid using such negative words.

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-Apologize if you make a mistake- We all make mistakes even as adults, and while we expect kids to say sorry are we apologizing. It would show them that it's okay to make mistakes and that you are not perfect either. For example, if you accidentally spill something on them, say sorry.

-Take their permission when using their things-  Just because something belongs to a child, it doesn't mean that you can use it without their permission. If you want to use their toy or their clothes, ask them first. If they say no, don't force them.

-Include them in decision-making- Even though they are kids, their opinions matter too. So next time you are making a family decision, include them in it. Ask them what they think and listen to what they have to say.

-Inform them if there is any change in plan or if you are having guests over If there is any change in plan, don't just assume that the kids will be okay with it. Talk to them about it and see what they have to say. For example, if you are having guests over and the kids were supposed to go out with their friends, talk to them first and see if it's okay with them.

Don't force kids to dance and sing in front of strangers-  Showing off your kid's talents in from of strangers can be very uncomfortable for kids. So instead of forcing them to do it, ask them first if they are okay with it. If they say no, don't force them.

Don't discuss their personal habits or grades with relatives- Just because kids are related to you, it doesn't mean that you can discuss their personal habits or grades with them. If you wouldn't do it with an adult, don't do it with kids either.

-Avoid making promises that you can't keep- We all have made promises to our kids at some point or the other. But if you can't keep that promise, don't make it in the first place. For example, if you promise them that you will take them to the park tomorrow and something comes up, don't just take them. Inform them about the change in plan and why you can't keep the promise. lying to kids or breaking promises can make them lose trust in you.

-Don't compare them with other kids- Every kid is unique and special in their own way. So comparing them with other kids will only make them feel bad about themselves. Instead of comparing them, appreciate them for who they are. Parents have the habit of comparing grades, weight, height, etc. of their kids with other kids which are very harmful to the child's self-esteem. So avoid doing that.

-Encourage them to express their feelings- We all have feelings and kids are no different. So instead of telling them to stop crying or being mad, encourage them to express their feelings. It's okay to feel sad, angry, or scared. Let them know that it's okay to express their feelings and that you are there for them.

-Teach them the importance of consent- Just because kids are related to you, it doesn't mean that they can't say no to you. They have a right to their own bodies and they should be respected. Teach them that it's okay to say no even to parents and other family members.

-Respect their privacy- Just because you are a parent, it doesn't mean that you have the right to invade your kid's privacy. Respect their privacy and don't snoop around in their things without their permission.

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-Acknowledge their efforts and successes- We all like to be appreciated for our efforts. Kids are no different. So instead of criticizing them, acknowledge their efforts and successes. It will motivate them to do better.

Don't call their world silly- Just because kids are small, it doesn't mean that their world is small. Their world is as big as ours, they just see it from a different perspective. So instead of talking down to them or assuming that they won't understand, talk to them like you would talk to any other person.

-Avoid using negative words such as "stupid", "lazy" etc- Using negative words to describe kids is very harmful. It lowers their self-esteem and makes them feel bad about themselves. So instead of using negative words, use positive words to describe them.

So the next time you talk to a kid, think about how you would want to be treated. Would you want someone to invade your privacy or compare you with others? We think not. So treat them with the same respect and love that you would want for yourself. Because at the end of the day, they are individuals just like us.