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oday I saw my 8-year-old niece caught up in an argument with her parents for not studying during her holidays. She refused to open her books on her holidays. And her parents were trying to convince her that that holiday or not she needs to find some time to study.

I can understand both parents' and child's points of view. The child wants to enjoy her holidays and doesn't want to get her head wrapped around studies whereas parents want their child to utilize every second efficiently so that she would not have to face trouble in the future.

It is not an unusual scene but what struck me this time is how she so passionately argued that she hates learning. This made me think, "Why do some kids hate to learn?"

Reasons children hate to learn

1) The Content Of The Study Material Is Boring - 

The content of the study material is one of the major reasons why your kid hates studying. If the content is not interesting enough, then it will obviously bore your kid and he/she will not feel like learning it. Also, if the content is too difficult to understand, then your kid will get frustrated and will hate learning.

Children need a variety of materials to learn, just reading from books may not suffice. It is important to include things like audio-visual aids, games, etc. which will make learning fun and interesting for them.

Children learn very fast when the content is gamified. When they are given rewards for learning, they feel a sense of achievement and are motivated to learn more.

2) Studies Are Always Associated With Negative Emotions - 

Another reason why your kid might hate studying is that studies are always associated with negative emotions such as fear, anxiety, stress, etc. If every time your kid sits down to study, he/she feels stressed out or anxious, then obviously he/she is not going to enjoy it and will start hating it.

They always know that not learning or not being able to finish a task will have repercussions in the form of scolding or punishment from parents, teachers, etc. So they try to avoid it as much as possible.

3) The Method Of Teaching Is Boring - 

Another reason why your kid might hate learning is because of the method of teaching. If the teacher is not able to make the lesson interesting enough, then your kid will definitely get bored. Also, if the teacher is not able to explain the concepts properly, then your kid will not be able to understand them and will hate learning.

Imagine if there is a gap in making sense of the content and what is being taught in the class, it would be more difficult for the child to follow.

4) There Is Too Much Pressure To Perform - 

If there is too much pressure on your kid to perform, then he/she will definitely start hating learning. Studies should be a fun and relaxing activity for your kid, but if you are putting too much pressure on him/her to perform well, then it will become a burden for him/her.

Sometimes parents compare their children with other kids which leads to a feeling of insecurity and inferiority in children. This makes them feel that they are not good enough and they start hating learning.

I have seen some children being very scared when they have to learn something new because they are afraid of making mistakes. This fear of making mistakes hampers their learning process and they start hating it.

5) The Learning Environment Is Not Conducive

If the learning environment is not well-lit or if it is not comfortable enough, then your kid will definitely not enjoy learning in such an environment. If adults around the house are watching TV, or are on their phones, it becomes difficult for kids to focus on their studies. Also, if there are too many distractions around, then your kid will not be able to concentrate and will hate learning.

6) The School Is Not Providing Enough Opportunities To Learn - 

If the school is not providing enough opportunities for your kid to learn, then he/she will definitely get bored and will hate learning. For example, if the school does not have a good library or if it does not encourage extracurricular activities, then your kid will not get enough exposure to different things and will eventually start hating learning.

The same thing can happen at home when kids do not have the option to explore and try different things on their own.

7) There Is A Lack Of Personalized Attention - 

If your kid is not getting enough personalized attention, then he/she will definitely start hating learning. Though parents always aim at making their kids independent, there are some things that can be taught only when there is one-on-one interaction.

For example, if your kid is not able to understand a concept in class, then he/she will need some extra help.

8) Your Kid Is Not Getting Enough Time To Play - 

If your kid is not getting enough time to play, then he/she will definitely start hating learning. Studies are important, but so is playing. If your kid is not getting enough time to play, then he/she will start resenting studies and will eventually hate learning.

Children need free play time to explore, be creative, and just have fun. When they don't get this time, they can become stressed and anxious, which can lead to them hating learning.

9) Children do not get to learn what they want - 

If children are not able to learn what they want, they might get demotivated. Following a strict curriculum sometimes make children feel that they are not able to explore their interests and develop a dislike for learning.

Being everything planned already, children hardly have options to explore and learn beyond a set curriculum that bores them. We have a very fixed mindset when it comes to what our kids should learn and how they should learn it.

What can be done to help kids fall in love with learning

1) Trust kids - let them try new things, make mistakes and learn from them. Encourage kids to explore their interests. When children are controlled too much, they start resenting it. Give them the charge to plan and execute their ideas.

2) Be a role model - we should be role models for our children when it comes to learning. If we enjoy learning new things, our kids will too. Children learn best by observing and imitating those around them. If parents have mindless phone scrolling habits, children will tend to follow.

3) Encourage Curiosity - we should encourage our kids to be curious and ask questions. When we do not have the answer to their questions, we can together look for answers. This way they will understand that it is okay to not know everything and that learning is a lifelong process. This way children do not see their homework as a task

4) Take interest in their learning - we should take interest in what our kids are learning at school and at home. This will encourage them to keep learning. When we show that we value their learning, they will too. Parents should sit with kids and see their school work, read books together, and discuss topics of interest.

5) Encourage Extracurricular Activities - 

Extracurricular activities can help children explore their interests and develop new skills. When children are involved in different activities, they tend to have a better attitude towards learning. It is also a great way to make friends and

6) Make learning fun - 

Use games, activities, and experiments to make learning more fun and interactive. When children are having fun, they are more likely to be engaged and will not hate learning.

we cannot deny how videos act as a great aid in learning these days.

7) Create a conducive learning environment - 

Make sure the learning environment is well-lit, comfortable, and quiet. There should not be any distractions around. This will help your kid focus on his/her studies and they will see the value in their work

8) Schedule their study hours- 

Make sure to schedule your kid’s study hours in such a way that he/she gets enough time to play and relax as well. A tired child will never be able to concentrate and will eventually start hating learning. Also, kids don't like to be told to study randomly, they need some time to prepare themselves mentally for it.

This way they know they have a planned schedule for everything and will not procrastinate.

9) Don't compare them with other kids- 

Comparing your kid with other kids will only make him/her feel inferior and discouraged. Each child is different and has his/her own pace of learning. Do not put pressure on your kid to perform better than others. This will only make him/her hate learning.


Kids need love and attention to learn new things and grow. They need to feel supported by their parents to develop a love for learning. When we create a positive and encouraging environment at home, our kids will not hate learning. Instead, they will start seeing the value in it and will eventually fall in love with the process of learning.


But all this requires the parents to be involved in their children's learning process, to take interest in what they are doing, and to make sure they are getting the necessary support. Only then will the kids start seeing the value in learning and eventually fall in love with it.

Posted 
Sep 19, 2022
 in 
Integrated Parenting
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